Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
