I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
