You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
