I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
