I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
