Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
