How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
