The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize