Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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