Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
