I am puke
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
