wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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