I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize