you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Randomize
