My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
