Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
im holly from the hills drunk
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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