I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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