she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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