i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize