she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Randomize
