oh god the rape fog is back!
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
