I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Sext me about skeletons
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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