Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
