Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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