how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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