i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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