I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
