So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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