My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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