While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
