Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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