i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
