But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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