he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
