I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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