WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
