He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize