I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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