TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
