speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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