1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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