I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
