i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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