I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize