i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
