literally had 100 drinks last night.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize