I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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