So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize
