If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
