talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
