I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
