I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
