why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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