He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
