Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
