Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
