dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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