I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
