just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
