You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
