I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
