I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
