So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Randomize
