He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Is it penis luge time yet?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
