great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
