I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
