Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Jerry, you need to find god
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
