Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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