the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
