Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
