I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
